Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Rajnikanth Vs Chuck Norris.
Friday, 26 July 2013
So this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object!!!
Mind It !!
Mind Your Own Business
Thursday, 27 June 2013
A little boy was in a taxi eating a chocolate, then
he took another one and then another ...
A man next to him said "Do you know that too
much of it will damage your teeth"
The boy replied, "my grandfather lived for 132
years"
The man asked " was it because of eating
chocolate ?"
The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his
own business" ...... ..
These hairy leg stockings are a new anti-pervert fashion trend among Chinese women
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
True Meaning Of Male Statements
Friday, 24 May 2013
MALE STATEMENTS
Statement: “I’m a Romantic.”
True Meaning: “I’m poor.”
Statement: “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.”
True Meaning: “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”
Statement: “I really want to get to know you better.”
True Meaning: “So I can tell my friends about it.”
Statement: “She’s kinda cute.”
True Meaning: “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary.”
Statement: “I don’t know if I like her.”
True Meaning: “She won’t sleep with me.”
Statement: “Was it good for you?”
True Meaning: “I’m insecure about my manhood.”
Statement: “I had a wonderful time last night.”
True Meaning: “Who are you?”
Statement: “Do you love me?”
True Meaning: “I’ve done something stupid and you might find out.”
Statement: “Do you ‘really’ love me?”
True Meaning: “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find
out sooner or later.”
Statement: “How much do you love me?”
True Meaning: “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on
their way to tell you by now.”
Statement: “I have something to tell you.”
True Meaning: “Get tested.”
Statement: “I’ve been thinking a lot.”
True Meaning: “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”
Statement: “I think we should just be friends.”
True Meaning: “You’re ugly.”
Statement: “I’ve learned a lot from you.”
True Meaning: “Next!!!!”
Statement: “I’m on a long distance call, can you call me later?” True Meaning: “I gotta turn on my answering machine.”
Guilty
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
A guy asked a girl in the
library:
BOY: Do you mind when i sit
with you??
GIRL: ( LOUDLY ) I DON'T
WANT TO
SPEND THE NIGHT WITH
YOUU!
all the students in the library
started
staring at the guy... He was
embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the
girl walked
quietly to the guy's table and
told him..
GIRL: I study psychology and
i know what
men are thinking... I guess
you felt
embarrassed right??
BOY: (LOUDLY) $200 FOR
ONE NIGHT?
THAT IS TOO MUCH!
all the students in the library
looked at
the girl in shock and the guy
whispered
into the her ears:
BOY: I study law and i know
how to make
someone feel guilty..
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PG- Jokes :"Big chief, no fart"
There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn’t come out.
So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him a can of beans and tells him to come back tomorrow to tell him what happened.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 10 cans of beans this time.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.” The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 10, 000 cans of beans and says, ”If this doesn’t work then nothing will.”
The messenger boy comes back the next day and looks at the doctor.
The doctor anxiously asked, ”Well, did it work?”
The messenger boy says, ”Big fart, no chief!”
So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him a can of beans and tells him to come back tomorrow to tell him what happened.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 10 cans of beans this time.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.” The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, ”Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 10, 000 cans of beans and says, ”If this doesn’t work then nothing will.”
The messenger boy comes back the next day and looks at the doctor.
The doctor anxiously asked, ”Well, did it work?”
The messenger boy says, ”Big fart, no chief!”
I would like to buy some cyanide
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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